J-O-B

My parents have always taught me that if you want something you have to work for it. I have seen my parents work and work and work, but growing up we never wanted for anything and if my parents ever wanted or needed anything they always had the money to do it.

I have had at least two jobs at a time since the day I turned 16. At some points in the last 14 years I have had four at a time--no lie! I love to work; it makes me feel accomplished. Up until a few weeks ago I was a teacher (main job). It is what I had done for the last 6 1/2 years, and I loved (almost) every minute of it . . . until about five months ago. Then it just turned into hell on earth. I had never has people show such disdain for others and do all sorts of other nonsensical things, but you don't need all the gory details. Needless to say, I am not teaching this semester. I feel like I am a pretty good teacher, and my colleagues have never said anything to the contrary--at least not to my face. So, I don't know whether or not I will ever go back, but for the next several months I am free--I'm also jobless (unless you count job number two and I don't since I don't make much money doing it).

Regardless, you would think that I would be freaking out, right? I mean I have all kinds of adult responsibilities and NO job. The sad thing is that I am not freaking out. I don 't even know why I'm not. Maybe it is because I realize I have worked more in 14 years than the average 60-year-old (sarcasm but only slight), or if it is this 30 in 365 thing or what, but I just don't care. Yes, finding a job is on the my priority list, but so is living. It has been a long time since I have felt like that's what I was doing (see blog 1). The last three weeks have been wonderful. I have done all kinds of stuff I haven't done, and while it isn't nearly as exciting as all of the other things I have planned for this year, for someone who is used to working 60 + hours a week that's an accomplishment.

I am the girl who believed that things worked a certain way. It is kind of like the fairytale that girls grow up believing, only not with the prince charming and happily ever after. I always thought you grew up, went to college, got a job doing something amazing that you loved (and more than likely went to school for) and made money doing it. That's my fairytale. I believe that what you make should directly correlate to how hard you work--I work much harder than I get paid. So, maybe this whole thing is really about finding the job I was born to do. Maybe it is about not being scared to leave my comfort zone and go for it! I have lots of talents and creativity and all I have to do now is find my niche.

Please God let me find it soon. Otherwise I might have to live in my car . . . hey, that'd be something I have never done, maybe I could write about that ;)

p.s. I was an English teacher, so yes, I do know the number rules and grammar rules and I normally follow them, but it is 1:22 and at this exact moment I don't care. Plus I'm off the clock, remember?